20 lessons learned in 20 years (part 2)
(read part 1 here.)
some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you 
are new in ministry here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry.
11 – network
– if you leave a conference without a minimum of five other names, email addresses, and business cards, you weren’t trying.
– we are all on the same team. why are we not sharing ideas, solutions, struggles, prayer requests, praises, etc?
***make it a goal to leave your next conference with at least five new names and contact info. then make it a priority to connect with them when you return home.
12 – be mentored and mentor
– who has gone ahead of you that is speaking truth into you?
– who is behind you that you need to encourage and challenge?
*** do you have someone in your life whom you have given permission to call you out on sin, encourage your spiritual growth, and cheer you on?
*** who is praying for you and who in ministry are you praying for?
13 – safe place to vent
– find a safe person outside your office and church to vent to in confidence.
– get emotion out in a safe place so you don’t bring it to the meeting.
– let it out, then let it go!
14 – don’t break policy just to please
– if it is important enough to make into a policy, it is important enough to apply it.
– policy protects the whole, pleasing often satisfies a few.
*** are there polices you have that serve no real purpose?
15 – keep mouth shut
– confidentiality in ministry is a must.
– don’t have meetings after meetings. if you need to say it, say it in the meeting.
– no triangulation – talk to the person you have a problem with, not a third party.
16 – silos don’t make teams
– God’s truths deserve our age group collaboration.
– in age group ministries, we have to work together to help develop and support a Christ-centered 18-year-old.
*** where in your ministry team are there barriers and resistance to teamwork?
17 – be who God called and gifted you to be
– you are who you are and where you are because God created you and put you there.
– quit trying to be another ministry leader or ministry. be who God created you to be.
– comparison steals joy.
18 – grow in the valley
– some of your hardest ministry moments are your best teachers.
– give yourself grace from failures, so you can grow.
– allow conflict to build character so you don’t get stuck in the valley.
*** where have you seen God in a ministry valley?
19 – yield to and leave room for the Holy Spirit
– you can’t program every moment. allow room for God to show up.
– sometimes unplanned interruptions make an eternal impact
*** when is the last time you made room for and experienced a Holy Spirit interruption?
20 – humility goes a long way
– you don’t have to pretend to have all the answers. some people just want you to listen.
– if you can’t clean a toilet with no one watching, are you really ready to serve?
– get beyond yourself, so people remember Jesus and not you.
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20 lessons learned in 20 years
some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you are new in ministry, here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry.
1 – the Gospel is the goal
– you are not a cruise director.
– it is not about you.
– the Gospel changes lives for eternity, you don’t.
– families can get moral lessons from books or the side of a fast food container. morals aren’t what we are after, the Gospel is.
2 – know where you are going
– figure out where you are going before you begin.
– make sure everything you put on the calendar and in the budget has the end in mind.
– keeping the end in mind helps you avoid detours and stick to an eternal itinerary.
– a finish line filter helps you say no.
* do you have a ministry vision statement that can serve as a guide and filter for where you are going?
3 – quality vs quantity
– “you can’t do a million things to the glory of God.” beth moore
– a few well-planned, successful events are better than many half hearted, poorly planned events.
– families are busy. when you ask for their time be prepared — make it Gospel-centered and make it count.
colossians 3:23 – “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human
masters,”
4 – realize you haven’t arrived
– you don’t know all there is to know about ministry
– you aren’t the greatest thing to hit the ministry world. people have been in the trenches long before you.
– make sure you always have a teachable spirit.
– listen more than you talk.
* when is the last time you really listened to what God is doing in someone else’s life and ministry?
5 – strategically surround yourself
– make sure your staff/leadership team are strong in the areas where you are weak.
– a well thought out team makes a more successful team.
– allow your team to make you better. (can you take corrective criticism?)
* what type of person is your ministry team missing?
6 – partner with parents
– parent champions – the first thing i did in a transition was create a parent champion team to evaluate and make a plan
to move forward. read more about that here.
– make sure these parents will be prayerfully honest with you and are not just “yes” men and women.
– parents help share your heart and vision with their peers, thus having a greater impact.
7 – target the family (there are 168 hours in a week. you may have the kids for one or two hours. target
the family for maximum kingdom growth.)
– what are you doing to reach the family as a whole?
– family worship (teaching like Jesus taught)
learn more about that here.
– make sure to build a bridge from church to home.
* what takeaways are you giving families to talk through at home?
8 – ministry to children and families with special needs
– educate yourself and your team.
– be prepared before the first family arrives. (policies, space, intake forms, volunteers, etc.)
– provide quality, Christ-centered care
9 – communicate
– communicate often through various channels. (constant contact, mail chimp, remind, facebook, instagram, twitter, ifttt, blog, snail mail, etc.)
– just when you think you are bugging people, they are just getting the message. they need to see the message seven
different times.
– if you are getting questions or have to have a FAQ section, have you really effectively communicated?
10 – sabbath
Luke 5:16 – “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
– Jesus made time alone a priority, do you?
– an empty vessel has nothing to give
[box type=”warning”] dWELL copyright © danielle bell and dWELL, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to danielle bell and dWELL with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.[/box]
the first thing i did when transitioning to a new church was to set up a goal and filter for dawson kids. i needed clarity and direction. after 
spending 3 weeks with a varied group of parents, we prayerfully came up with confident in Christ. this has served as an amazing tool to help keep us focused on the goal of our ministry. if an activity doesn’t help kids and families become and stay confident in Christ, we don’t do it. it’s that simple. this has been a lifesaver in trying to make the most of precious time with busy families. (it is also a continual work in progress.)
this year we also took our goal a step further. working with an amazing #kidmin team, we expanded our focus into a year long theme. our theme this year is blueprint – God’s great message. so where our focus of confident in Christ filtered our ministry and kept us accountable, this year’s theme will greatly shape each program, event, or ministry we do.
the foundation of this theme is the Gospel and each step is based on scripture. (hopefully some ones that children aren’t so familiar with.) this theme has been such a gift, because we already know what the message of our four family worships will be this year: creation, the fall, redemption, and restoration. we begin with the first one this sunday as we explore God as the uncreated Creator. 
because this theme spells out what we desire for the kids and families to grasp by the end of the year, planning fall retreat was easier as well. we believe individuals, families and their community need to connect to God and each other and that is what we will explore at our family fall retreat.
i am excited to see that the diligence, extra planning, and prayer at the beginning of the year has already freed us up greatly to dig into more eternal things and not time consuming busy work. this theme will also provide a cohesive, Christ-centered year for us to walk through with families.
we are excited, but i would also love to hear how some of you plan out your year in #kidmin. comment on this post and share.
i have been blessed, challenged, encouraged, and stretched in many ways in my new ministry position. i am grateful to serve alongside a supervisor/friend that gets ministry and me! she gently guides, patiently listens (bless her heart), thoughtfully instructs, holds me accountable, and personally prays for and with me! i am a recipient of her many gifts of leadership and am grateful. then, she took it to the next level with the gift of sabbath.
i am not surprising anyone in service when i say how emotionally exhausting and spiritually depleting ministry can be. maybe she saw that on our faces as we sat in an ed staff meeting on the edge of summer with to-do lists a mile long. my idea of help would have been an effective way to get more done or at least three more paid assistants. 😉 i was so wrong. instead of talking new methods, more people, and longer hours, we were challenged with the ironic response of rest! we were taught from and gifted with a copy of 24/6 written by matthew sleuth, md. that would have been plenty, but then we were handed an accountability card that required action on our part. for the three months of summer, busy months in kidmin, we were to pick one work day a month for a personal sabbath. we were instructed to not schedule anything on that day except for time with Jesus. no meetings, no “work”, no email, and no office time until late in the afternoon. best. gift. ever.
my days of sabbath have challenged me to slow down, sit, and just be with Jesus instead of constantly “doing” for Him. i experienced extended quiet and
prayer times. i literally stopped and smelled the flowers (hydrangeas, my favorite). sermon downloads were listened to and Bible study times were unhurried. i knew i appreciated this time, but not until my last scheduled sabbath was interrupted by unforeseeable circumstances did i know how greatly these days ministered to me. my three month challenged will now be extended to year round so that i can truly be the Christ-centered leader i am called to be.
i don’t know where this blog post finds you. if you are in ministry i can only imagine how weary, stretched, or worn you may be. maybe, just maybe, it is time to stop doing and begin stopping. the thing your heart may need most is not more trying, but sweet sabbath rest.
*i would love to hear about your personal sabbath experiences.