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20 lessons learned in 20 years (part 2)
(read part 1 here.)

some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you screen-shot-2016-09-26-at-1-22-25-pmare new in ministry here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry. 

11 – network
– if you leave a conference without a minimum of five other names, email addresses, and business cards, you weren’t trying.
– we are all on the same team. why are we not sharing ideas, solutions, struggles, prayer requests, praises, etc?
***make it a goal to leave your next conference with at least five new names and contact info. then make it a priority to connect with them when you return home.

12 – be mentored and mentor
– who has gone ahead of you that is speaking truth into you?
– who is behind you that you need to encourage and challenge?
*** do you have someone in your life whom you have given permission to call you out on sin, encourage your spiritual growth, and cheer you on?
*** who is praying for you and who in ministry are you praying for?

vent13 – safe place to vent
– find a safe person outside your office and church to vent to in confidence.
– get emotion out in a safe place so you don’t bring it to the meeting.
– let it out, then let it go!

14 – don’t break policy just to please
– if it is important enough to make into a policy, it is important enough to apply it.
– policy protects the whole, pleasing often satisfies a few.
*** are there polices you have that serve no real purpose?

15 – keep mouth shut
– confidentiality in ministry is a must.
– don’t have meetings after meetings. if you need to say it, say it in the meeting.
– no triangulation – talk to the person you have a problem with, not a third party.

silo16 – silos don’t make teams
– God’s truths deserve our age group collaboration.
– in age group ministries, we have to work together to help develop and support a Christ-centered 18-year-old.
*** where in your ministry team are there barriers and resistance to teamwork?


17 – be who God called and gifted you to be
– you are who you are and where you are because God created you and put you there.
– quit trying to be another ministry leader or ministry. be who God created you to be.
– comparison steals joy.

valley

18 – grow in the valley
– some of your hardest ministry moments are your best teachers.
– give yourself grace from failures, so you can grow.
– allow conflict to build character so you don’t get stuck in the valley.
*** where have you seen God in a ministry valley?


il_214x170-521121394_ooe719 – yield to and leave room for the Holy Spirit
– you can’t program every moment. allow room for God to show up.
– sometimes unplanned interruptions make an eternal impact
*** when is the last time you made room for and experienced a Holy Spirit interruption?

20 – humility goes a long way
– you don’t have to pretend to have all the answers. some people just want you to listen.
– if you can’t clean a toilet with no one watching, are you really ready to serve?
– get beyond yourself, so people remember Jesus and not you.

[box type=”warning”] dWELL copyright © danielle bell and dWELL, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to danielle bell and dWELL with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.[/box]

20 lessons learned in 20 years

some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you are new in ministry, here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry. 

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-11-32-34-am1 – the Gospel is the goal
– you are not a cruise director.
– it is not about you.
– the Gospel changes lives for eternity, you don’t.
– families can get moral lessons from books or the side of a fast food container. morals aren’t what we are after, the Gospel is.

2 – know where you are going
– figure out where you are going before you begin.
– make sure everything you put on the calendar and in the budget has the end in mind.
– keeping the end in mind helps you avoid detours and stick to an eternal itinerary.
– a finish line filter helps you say no.
     * do you have a ministry vision statement that can serve as a guide and filter for where you are going?

3 – quality vs quantity
– “you can’t do a million things to the glory of God.” beth moore
– a few well-planned, successful events are better than many half hearted, poorly planned events.
– families are busy. when you ask for their time be prepared — make it Gospel-centered and make it count.
colossians 3:23 – “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human
masters,”

4 – realize you haven’t arrived
– you don’t know all there is to know about ministry
– you aren’t the greatest thing to hit the ministry world. people have been in the trenches long before you.
– make sure you always have a teachable spirit.
– listen more than you talk.
     * when is the last time you really listened to what God is doing in someone else’s life and ministry?

5 – strategically surround yourself
– make sure your staff/leadership team are strong in the areas where you are weak.
– a well thought out team makes a more successful team.
– allow your team to make you better. (can you take corrective criticism?)
* what type of person is your ministry team missing?

6 – partner with parents
– parent champions – the first thing i did in a transition was create a parent champion team to evaluate and make a plan
to move forward. read more about that here.
– make sure these parents will be prayerfully honest with you and are not just “yes” men and women.
– parents help share your heart and vision with their peers, thus having a greater impact.

7 – target the family (there are 168 hours in a week. you may have the kids for one or two hours. target
the family for maximum kingdom growth.)
– what are you doing to reach the family as a whole?
– family worship (teaching like Jesus taught)
learn more about that here.
– make sure to build a bridge from church to home.
* what takeaways are you giving families to talk through at home?

screen8 – ministry to children and families with special needs
– educate yourself and your team.
– be prepared before the first family arrives. (policies, space, intake forms, volunteers, etc.)
– provide quality, Christ-centered care

9communicate
– communicate often through various channels. (constant contact, mail chimp, remind, facebook, instagram, twitter, ifttt, blog, snail mail, etc.)
– just when you think you are bugging people, they are just getting the message. they need to see the message seven
different times.
– if you are getting questions or have to have a FAQ section, have you really effectively communicated?sabbath

10 – sabbath
Luke 5:16 – “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
– Jesus made time alone a priority, do you?
– an empty vessel has nothing to give

screen-shot-2016-09-26-at-1-22-25-pm

[box type=”warning”] dWELL copyright © danielle bell and dWELL, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to danielle bell and dWELL with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.[/box]

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in honor of group’s 3rd annual kidmin conference in just a little over two weeks, i put together a kidmin top ten list of things i am most excited about this year.  this extreme extrovert can’t wait for all the people time and i am sure i will have much to share.  i will be blowing up social media with conference updates throughout the week.  consider yourself warned. (the conference hashtag is #kidmin13.)

the conference app – i am a self-admitted tech nerd, so i have loved playing around with our new kidmin conference app.  even though we are more than two weeks out,  i may have already set up my personal schedule so i will feel a tad bit more organized.  🙂

IMG_3599time with my team – i have to say i work with some of the most amazing and fun people i know. i am constantly learning from them and laughing with them.  i believe there were several “laugh ’til you cry” moments at the kidmin conference last year.  times of learning, growing, and laughing together are just plum good for the soul.  oh the stories we will have from this year’s conference. they really shouldn’t let us loose in a city together.

traveling – call me crazy, but i love almost everything about it: plane trips, hotel rooms, new cities, taxis, shuttle buses, airport people watching, the luggage carousel, and more. for me it is just one big adventure.

it team

the IT (inside track) team – this group of 100+ kidmin leaders from around the country is a constant source of support and encouragement throughout the year.  not only do they speak into the kidmin conference and share ideas, they also share successes and failures with each other all year long.  several times a day our group connects through facebook, tweets, or emails but it will be so sweet to connect face-to-face at kidmin.

IMG_3611

xorbee sack chair conversations – you just can’t beat comfy chairs, dear friends, spontaneous conversations, and honest sharing.  these casual times in the hallways of the conference center are some of my favorites.  i have yet to be able to take a nap in one of these chairs, but i have never found it hard to strike up a conversation in one.

the unexpected – i like control, but there is nothing quite as uplifting and personal as the unexpected ways God speaks to me through an uninterrupted time of worship, an authentic conversation about ministry struggles, a message from a speaker, a comment from a friend, time in the prayer room, being still in His Word, and time just hanging with people who “get me” and ministry.  you simply can’t schedule how He will show up, but how i look forward to seeing how He does. 🙂

IMG_3593

R.E.A.L.. learning – don’t talk at me, teach me.  don’t just speak of creative classrooms, allow me to encounter one. this is yet another reason i love this conference. not only the workshops, but the general sessions engage and stretch each participant using group’s R.E.A.L. learning method. (relational, experiential, applicable, learner-based)  i get to learn through hands-on experience and then debrief what we discovered. i also leave with practical activities i can easily apply to my ministry back home. not to mention that R.E.A.L. learning is just plain fun!

my workshop – i am super excited to get to share my heart about “helping kids have a friendship with Jesus.”  this is one of my favorite topics to discuss and i look forward to learning alongside participants as i lead this session.  here is my workshop description: “we’ll explore ways to be intentional in facilitating a child’s spiritual formation. experience and explore R.E.A.L. Learning (relational, experiential, applicable, learner-based) ways to take kids beyond learning to genuine relationship with Jesus.”

connect groups – conversation is such a key component of kidmin and i love working with the connect groups.  this IMG_3618year we have connect groups for: children’s ministry veterans, first 2 years in children’s ministry, large-church children’s ministry, small-church children’s ministry, rural children’s ministry, urban children’s ministry, early childhood ministry, preteen ministry, family ministry, multi-site ministry, burned out in children’s ministry, special needs ministry, thriving in transition, volunteers in children’s ministry, bivocational children’s ministry, married to a children’s minister,  canadian children’s ministers, international children’s ministers, men in children’s ministry, women in children’s ministry, and senior pastors.  

chrisme

once a year face time – my kidmin friends are just too spread out across the u.s.  so, when you put so many people i admire in one place, i cherish face to face talks and any insight they can share.  i love that chris yount jones and i can pick up right where we left off and weave ministry and personal topics in and out of easy conversation.  i always love a few moments to sit and glean wisdom from denise muir kjesbo. i have loved gordan and becki west for many years and i am always thrilled when our ministry paths cross.  the group staff could not be more fun and i can’t wait to see karen, laycie, celia, donna, sherri, roseanne, david, shannon, tim and sharon. i’ll have to catch time to giggle with brook, chat with mary, hang with kimberly, and oh the list goes on and on.  so many great people to connect with, so little time!

i would love to hear from any of you who are attending kidmin ’13. i would also love to grab a cup of coffee, a quick meal, or a sack chair convo with you!  can’t wait, see you there.

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