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20 lessons learned in 20 years (part 2)
(read part 1 here.)

some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you screen-shot-2016-09-26-at-1-22-25-pmare new in ministry here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry. 

11 – network
– if you leave a conference without a minimum of five other names, email addresses, and business cards, you weren’t trying.
– we are all on the same team. why are we not sharing ideas, solutions, struggles, prayer requests, praises, etc?
***make it a goal to leave your next conference with at least five new names and contact info. then make it a priority to connect with them when you return home.

12 – be mentored and mentor
– who has gone ahead of you that is speaking truth into you?
– who is behind you that you need to encourage and challenge?
*** do you have someone in your life whom you have given permission to call you out on sin, encourage your spiritual growth, and cheer you on?
*** who is praying for you and who in ministry are you praying for?

vent13 – safe place to vent
– find a safe person outside your office and church to vent to in confidence.
– get emotion out in a safe place so you don’t bring it to the meeting.
– let it out, then let it go!

14 – don’t break policy just to please
– if it is important enough to make into a policy, it is important enough to apply it.
– policy protects the whole, pleasing often satisfies a few.
*** are there polices you have that serve no real purpose?

15 – keep mouth shut
– confidentiality in ministry is a must.
– don’t have meetings after meetings. if you need to say it, say it in the meeting.
– no triangulation – talk to the person you have a problem with, not a third party.

silo16 – silos don’t make teams
– God’s truths deserve our age group collaboration.
– in age group ministries, we have to work together to help develop and support a Christ-centered 18-year-old.
*** where in your ministry team are there barriers and resistance to teamwork?


17 – be who God called and gifted you to be
– you are who you are and where you are because God created you and put you there.
– quit trying to be another ministry leader or ministry. be who God created you to be.
– comparison steals joy.

valley

18 – grow in the valley
– some of your hardest ministry moments are your best teachers.
– give yourself grace from failures, so you can grow.
– allow conflict to build character so you don’t get stuck in the valley.
*** where have you seen God in a ministry valley?


il_214x170-521121394_ooe719 – yield to and leave room for the Holy Spirit
– you can’t program every moment. allow room for God to show up.
– sometimes unplanned interruptions make an eternal impact
*** when is the last time you made room for and experienced a Holy Spirit interruption?

20 – humility goes a long way
– you don’t have to pretend to have all the answers. some people just want you to listen.
– if you can’t clean a toilet with no one watching, are you really ready to serve?
– get beyond yourself, so people remember Jesus and not you.

[box type=”warning”] dWELL copyright © danielle bell and dWELL, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to danielle bell and dWELL with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.[/box]

20 lessons learned in 20 years

some of the most effective ministry lessons are learned from mistakes and in-the-trenches ministry experiences. if you are new in ministry, here are some tips from someone with 20 full-time years of kids ministry experience to help you avoid pitfalls and burnout in ministry. 

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-11-32-34-am1 – the Gospel is the goal
– you are not a cruise director.
– it is not about you.
– the Gospel changes lives for eternity, you don’t.
– families can get moral lessons from books or the side of a fast food container. morals aren’t what we are after, the Gospel is.

2 – know where you are going
– figure out where you are going before you begin.
– make sure everything you put on the calendar and in the budget has the end in mind.
– keeping the end in mind helps you avoid detours and stick to an eternal itinerary.
– a finish line filter helps you say no.
     * do you have a ministry vision statement that can serve as a guide and filter for where you are going?

3 – quality vs quantity
– “you can’t do a million things to the glory of God.” beth moore
– a few well-planned, successful events are better than many half hearted, poorly planned events.
– families are busy. when you ask for their time be prepared — make it Gospel-centered and make it count.
colossians 3:23 – “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human
masters,”

4 – realize you haven’t arrived
– you don’t know all there is to know about ministry
– you aren’t the greatest thing to hit the ministry world. people have been in the trenches long before you.
– make sure you always have a teachable spirit.
– listen more than you talk.
     * when is the last time you really listened to what God is doing in someone else’s life and ministry?

5 – strategically surround yourself
– make sure your staff/leadership team are strong in the areas where you are weak.
– a well thought out team makes a more successful team.
– allow your team to make you better. (can you take corrective criticism?)
* what type of person is your ministry team missing?

6 – partner with parents
– parent champions – the first thing i did in a transition was create a parent champion team to evaluate and make a plan
to move forward. read more about that here.
– make sure these parents will be prayerfully honest with you and are not just “yes” men and women.
– parents help share your heart and vision with their peers, thus having a greater impact.

7 – target the family (there are 168 hours in a week. you may have the kids for one or two hours. target
the family for maximum kingdom growth.)
– what are you doing to reach the family as a whole?
– family worship (teaching like Jesus taught)
learn more about that here.
– make sure to build a bridge from church to home.
* what takeaways are you giving families to talk through at home?

screen8 – ministry to children and families with special needs
– educate yourself and your team.
– be prepared before the first family arrives. (policies, space, intake forms, volunteers, etc.)
– provide quality, Christ-centered care

9communicate
– communicate often through various channels. (constant contact, mail chimp, remind, facebook, instagram, twitter, ifttt, blog, snail mail, etc.)
– just when you think you are bugging people, they are just getting the message. they need to see the message seven
different times.
– if you are getting questions or have to have a FAQ section, have you really effectively communicated?sabbath

10 – sabbath
Luke 5:16 – “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
– Jesus made time alone a priority, do you?
– an empty vessel has nothing to give

screen-shot-2016-09-26-at-1-22-25-pm

[box type=”warning”] dWELL copyright © danielle bell and dWELL, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to danielle bell and dWELL with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.[/box]

i get it, i have issues.  it is pride and my over zealous competitiveness that seem to be rearing their ugly heads these days.  this was literally brought to my attention the hard way a few weeks ago on the basketball court.  did i mention i was hard-headed, too?

i am thrilled to be a part of the homewood girl trotters church-league basketball team.  i love getting back on the court for fun pick-up games, but somehow the past competitive athlete comes out each week.  a light-hearted game transforms into a regional championship in my mind, even though my out-of-shape body struggles to keep up for the hour of play. the bottom line is these games really don’t matter.  there is no scoreboard, no organized plays, and no trophy or medal.  so why on earth did i see the need to sacrifice my body for a ball going out of bounds?

it was my night to lead the devotion before we played. i shared about how we are to come humbly to Jesus, because our very best is merely filthy rags.  then, the game began. we were not even 15 minutes into play and the ball was going out of bounds.  i am not even really sure if it was knocked out by my team.  there was no time to think, because something just took over.  i went after it. running full speed, i jump out of bounds and threw the ball back in towards my teammates.  now, another lesson i am learning at my age is that my body doesn’t cooperate like it did in my younger years.  yes, i got the ball, but i couldn’t stop my body.  so with no control, i flew head first into aluminum bleachers.  the top of my head hit square into the side of the second row with my neck taking all the shock.  my hands, somehow thinking they could stop my hurling body, were out in front and went under the bleachers and slammed into the supports.  moments later i was flat on my back with a circle of girls starring down at me.  i was mortified and most assuredly out of play.  honestly, i was thankful to be able to stand and walk after this collision.

hours passed and i was at home with an ice pack on the top of my head, my neck, and my fingers.  i sat there asking myself, “why in the world did that ball seem to matter so much?”  then i recall a friend saying to me on the bleachers after my injury, “wow, danielle, that was taking being humble too far.”  i thought to myself,  that had nothing to do with humility and everything to do with P.R.I.D.E.  this girl that opened the game night talking about humility, ended her night because she needed to be seen as some kind of hero.  somehow during “play”, my pride fueled me to sacrifice the whole for something relatively unimportant.  (i did ask later, did i save the ball?  my teammates said yes and they were in the middle of a fast break when they noticed me on the floor and others circled around me.  they stopped and didn’t even score.  my effort was in vain.)

with plenty of additional moments spent icing bruises, knots, and pain; i reflected on other areas in my life and how pride had skewed my priorities.

  • where else had i sacrificed a bigger truth for a insignificant “win.”
  • had i ever gone so far for something that didn’t really matter and been benched for a greater victory?
  • what have i missed in my walk with Jesus and ministry to kids, because i was consumed with the “seen” while sidelining the sacred?

i sadly see traces of the same thing i was guilty of on the basketball court that night in my personal and ministry life.  i also see that time is short, eternal things too important, and ministry hours too precious not to learn from my knock on my hard head.  surely i am not the only one that learns lessons this way, but this one will not be in vain.

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