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danielle

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falling short

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one of the things i noticed this summer about my 7-year-old niece’s stage in life was that she seemed to believe she was never at fault. no matter what happened, she thought she was never to blame. while she continued to point fingers, i wondered how i would be intentional about helping her see her shortcomings. without beginning to understand her sin, how would she start to see her need for a Savior? in love, i wanted to turn times of discipline into teachable moments about how Jesus rescues us in our rebellion. why did i think, even for a second, this lesson i longed to teach her wouldn’t also be for me?

it began on a morning we were late to meet someone. i was frantically running around trying to gather her things, get her to her location, and not be late for work myself. already ten minutes late, the last chore of the morning was to take the dog potty before rushing out the door. when i looked up from the backyard, i noticed not only had my niece come to join me and the dog in the backyard, she closed the backdoor that she also managed to lock. the three of us now stood in the backyard with no key, no phone, and no way to get back into the house. (looking back, i am just thankful i had us both out of our pajamas.)

what a great scenario to display grace; i just wish i could say that i did. in my frustration, i shamed her and watched her sweet face melt. as tears streamed down her cheeks, we figured out how to get another key, but the damage was done. i hurt her. when called to show mercy, i chose to sin. i was now the one needing the reminder of a sweet Savior’s grace.

the lesson i had imagined would include me pointing out her wrong, had me confessing mine and asking for her forgiveness. before reentering the house, we sat on the steps and i explained to her how badly i had handled the situation. i shared that even though i was grown, i often choose my way instead of God’s way. these actions aren’t simply mistakes, they are rebellion against God and they are sin. i told her that it is because of my sin and inability to be perfect on my own that i need Jesus. i couldn’t get those ugly moments back, but i longed to redeem them to point her to Jesus. humbly, i got a fresh few of His mercy myself.

since that week i keep singing the lyrics of laura story’s “grace.” this song (see below) so captures my heart as i continue to confront how i oh so often fall short. while i am incredibly imperfect, He continues to be all sufficient! wow!

Laura Story’s “Grace” lyrics

“My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused. I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

Chorus:
I ask you: “How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?”
And you answer: ” My child, I love you.
And as long as you’re seeking My face, You’ll walk in the pow’r of My daily sufficient grace.”

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You? I know I don’t deserve You. And that’s the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

Chorus
I ask you: “How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?”
And you answer: ” My child, I love you.
And as long as you’re seeking My face, You’ll walk in the pow’r of My daily sufficient grace.”
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I’m learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I’m learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you For all that You’ve given to me.

Chorus:
I ask you: “How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?”
And you answer: ” My child, I love you.
And as long as you’re seeking My face, You’ll walk in the pow’r of My daily sufficient grace.”

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In kidmin

clean slate

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at first glance it may not make much sense to put pictures of my new office in my blog entitled “clean slate.”  well, in my head it makes perfect sense.  you see, i am highly visual and i am a slow learner. so i knew if i was going to make the most of this new ministry adventure God has given me, i would have to give myself a daily reminder.photo 3

i believe a fresh start in ministry is a precious gift and i want to come face to face with this truth each day.  so, the extremist in me went from bright blue, glitter covered walls with a red velvet couch to an office that is, well, white.  i simply couldn’t conceive a better palette to scream clean start to myself each day.

here are just some of the things i hope and pray these surroundings remind me of each day:

– have no agenda other than God’s agenda
– this new ministry is not the 2.0 version of the last ministry
– dream fresh, God-sized dreams
– my way is not always the best way, try something new
– learn and grow from past failures and conflicts, but don’t let them mar the new ministry
– it takes time to fill a blank canvas – be patient and purposed with each stroke 

photo 2the other important piece to my new office was one of the scriptures God used in calling me to dawson.   (pictured left)  ephesians 3:20-21, “now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! amen.”  i believe it is when i get out of the way and abandon myself to His vision and dreams, i can experience the Creator’s abundantly more!

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In faith

expecting Him to speak

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this morning, i tried to sneak away for a few quiet moments to work on my Bible study.  only seconds after i got settled, my sweet niece finds me and inquired about what i was doing.  i told her i was going to do my Bible study.  she then asked, “what does that mean?”  i explained to her that i was going to spend time in my Bible with Jesus to hear Him speak to me.  wow, such a sunday school answer.  i wish i would have explained more about how digging into God’s Word helps me know His character and more about Him.  through knowing Him more, i can follow Him better and hear Him when He wants to tell me something.  but, i didn’t say all that.  i gave a quick answer, so i could get on with “more important” things.  little did i know, my words would be a lesson to me.

the first thing i read in my beth moore james study was james 4:6a, “He gives greater grace.”  i was sitting quietly trying to soak it in and allow it to penetrate my hard head and heart.  what a marvelous, unfathomable truth.  the text went on to share that “He is enough.”  i read that statement twice and then the door opened.  that precious blonde walked over and stared at me with those big, round blue eyes.  “well, what did He say?” she asked believing that if He was supposed to speak, He would.  i shared with her about His greater grace and what that meant.  my study even asked me to say it aloud.   so i did so with her standing right there.  “He gives greater grace.”

she wandered back into the other room to resume her computer game, while i continued on with my study.  i was nearing the end when i was supposed to read through the following list of truths.

– “God knows everything about you and everything concerning you.  nothing is hidden from His sight.  so submit to God.”
– “He is always looking out for your ultimate good and takes our hurts personally. so submit to God.”
– “He is Holy and worthy and incapable of abusing His divine authority over you.  so submit to God.”
– “He knows when your motive was right but your mouth messed up.  so submit to God.”
– “He knows exactly how to work terrible into good. so submit to God.”
– “He loves you completely and unconditionally and will never let you go. so submit to God.”
– He knows the well-deliberated plan for your life and how all things must fall into place for you to fulfill your destiny.  so submit to God.”
– “He will never put to shame those who trust in Him. so submit to God.”

as i was reflecting on these powerful statements and which of them spoke to me the most, the door quietly opened again.  “what did He say now, dandi?”  only moments before i had told her that God speaks through His Word and now she was confident that He would.  she was so convinced that she came and asked me not once, but twice what He was saying to me.   after i shared a truth or two that i loved with her, she smiled and said, “i like that.”

she had briefly heard of His character and that He speaks through His Word.  so, she expected Him to speak.  i know and have intimately experienced His character, yet so many times i am not willing, ready, or believing He has anything to say to me.  well, He did today.  through His Word, my Bible study, and the faith of a child He spoke loud and clear.  may i always be positioned with a believing heart to receive what He has to say.

** excerpts are from beth moore’s james Bible study, “mercy triumphs.” published by lifeway.

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In kidmin

kidmin is community

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just a small group of the kidmin inside track team in colorado this spring. (we had great fun dreaming and praying for kidmin 2012.)

being a single gal in kidmin can often times leave one feeling alone and isolated in ministry.  this was the case for a season before i became involved in group’s kidmin conference last year.  the speakers were amazing and the worship uplifting, but one thing that has continued to encourage and support me throughout the year is the connections i made at the conference.

these fellow servants in ministry were merely avatars on a screen with occasional tweets or messages on facebook until we spent time in authentic conversation.  after a week of laughing, praying, crying, and sharing these people felt more like ministry family.

this kidmin family  became even more dear to my heart recently when i moved states to begin a new adventure in ministry.  the amount of encouragement, prayers, and support i received from my kidmin community was overwhelming. they got it.  they understood leaving a place i had invested in for so long was hard.   several of them were also walking through the transition process and i know each one is just a phone call, email, or tweet away.  what a gift!

for me, the kidmin conference is a place:

to renew my passion for ministering to children and families,
to freely worship at the feet of the Savior i love to serve,
to experience a new level of learning,
but most importantly to connect with others who inspire, challenge, and encourage me.

i hope to see you at kidmin 2012.  read more at the conference website.

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In faith

it is easier to stay

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the last few months have been filled with tremors of transition, impending change, and absolute uncertainty.  (absolute uncertainty, that’s like an oxymoron isn’t it?) i am in awe as i recount daily how my God has been faithful each and every step, but i would be lying if i didn’t confess that my flesh cries out (also daily), “it is just easier to stay.”

why wouldn’t it be easier?  i have been planted in a great town for 20 years, served in a church i love for 15 years, and have a far  greater group of friends and godly influences than i deserve.   yep, i am comfortable here.  i know this place.  although this season in life has been far from perfect, it has become familiar.  no wonder my flesh begs me to stay where i am all too often complacent.  my worldly self is so tempted to settle, but my Spirit is eager to soar.

on the morning of my last Sunday at belle aire, God was perfectly personal to send me a devotional through email that was of great comfort and timely encouragement. (read that devotional here.)  it is through the imperfect, yet faithful life of abraham i am reminded that sometimes we have to leave to receive.

with each day’s goodbyes i learn that leaving is simply letting go. it means that with each step forward the ground that once felt secure and certain gives way to uncharted territory and adventure only the Author of Life could write. leaving means not knowing what all the future holds, but trusting the One who holds it in His hands.

surely i can’t be alone in facing the fight of wanting to stay or leave.  for me, leaving is literally packing boxes and memories from such a precious season in life and moving to a new town, a new church, and new friends.  what about you, what is God asking you to leave?

  • is it a habit that crept in slowly, but has you quickly moving further from Him?
  • is is a sin that seems small and insignificant?  maybe it is something no one notices but you and God, but you sense you need to agree about the stronghold and release it to Him?
  • maybe it is an attitude, an action, desire that you are holding on to more tightly than His hand and He is urging you to lay it down?
  • or maybe you are like me. He has clearly spoken to you through His Word to go and your act of obedience is to just take the next step.

lately my mind is flooded with the visual of open palms ready to release the past and receive the future God has planned.  just think about all that abraham would have missed if He would have settled for staying.  sure, it may be easier to stay, but how will i ever truly walk in faith if i waiver in indecision?  God said go. so with trembling steps, an expectant outlook, a heart filled with bittersweet goodbyes, and eyes fixed on Him i step forward.  oh, how i find comfort in knowing the One who walks on water will walk faithfully with me during this new season.

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