Category

my journey

Category

i am in awe of fall.   i so appreciate the scenery God paints with each change of weather, but i have fallen in love with fall.  the glorious leaves of this season magnificently whisper to my soul that He can and does make all things beautiful in His time.  just as the leaves, i  must be willing to die.

only an awesome and intimately involved Creator could make the act of death so magnificent!  leaves, at the end their life, display beauty with such splendor that i can’t help but seek God.

so, as i daily drive past trees boldly portraying beauty in death, i ponder this question… have i settled for a life of muted tones that infrequently give Him glory, or am i daily dying to self to allow His radiance to course incomparable color through me?  no dream, idea, habit, or sin i hang on to is worth missing out on the opportunity to be a beautiful reflection of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  for me, it is a season to get busy denying and dying.

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

just one of the incredible fall trees i passed today.

my life-long sport was soccer and my position was goalie.  i love the unique role of the keeper of the goal.  wearing a different color shirt, i was set apart.  my mission was simple really – protect the goal.

many see this position as easy.  (yes, i was thankful i didn’t have to do all that running.)  the fact is, i was always working.  no matter where the action was on the field i was constantly repositioning myself to be in the best spot to protect the goal.  then, when a shot was taken, i would literally throw my body in any direction or height to stop the opponent from scoring.  the goal was always my focus and it was when my attention was divided that the shots started to pass by me.

i have been pondering my goalie position quite a bit today, as i also think through my role as a believer and a minister to children.  my goal in life and ministry is really quite simple, too.  i have been set-apart, crucified with Christ, and my goal is Jesus.  He, alone, should have my focus and attention.  i wish i could say i was a great keeper of this goal.  i am afraid my focus has been blurred by programs, the praise of men, numbers, problems, serving half-halfheartedly, and more.    it is time to realign myself with the One and Only goal – Jesus.

the kids deserve my best goal keeping.  more importantly, my Savior deserves an undivided mind seeking Him with all my strength.

help me Lord, for i am prone to be distracted.   realign my focus on You!

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

 

 

i am never short on lessons from children, but this lesson from last Christmas keeps coming back to my mind almost daily.

i had just picked up my niece and her mom from the airport for the Christmas holiday.  we immediately began discussing all the fun things we had planned to do during the break.  i then reminded my niece of our tradition to bake Jesus a birthday cake.  she got excited and like an adult i began to complicate the issue.  maybe we should do cupcakes this year and try something new, i thought.  so i asked carman, “do you think Jesus would rather have cupcakes or a cake this year for His birthday?” i started listing pros and cons for each and then interrupting me without thinking of what she wanted first she said, “well dandi, let’s just ask him.”  i watched in the rear-view window as she bowed her head and prayed silently.  it wasn’t long before she popped up with a bright smile and said, “He said cake!  she then began to describe that it needed to be a red-velvet cake with white icing.  (don’t even get me started on the sweet symbolism i see in her color choices.)

carman with Jesus' birthday cake. of course we had to add sprinkles!

so now  i am in a season of really needing some clarity, answers, and direction from God.  i’m talking specifics and i would totally be okay with sky writing or a letter in the mail.   what keeps coming back to me is, “well dandi, just ask Him.”  have i?  am i running everywhere but to Him for the answers i seek?  my answer may not be cake, but i believe it is ask Him and be still to hear His answer.

like the rest of the country i read “the help” and flocked to the theater to see it with a group of girlfriends.  now before you think i am going to diss the book or movie, you have to know i loved them both.  i devoured the book in less than a week and can’t wait to see the movie a second, third, or fourth time.  🙂

but if i am totally honest, there we three lines in that movie that challenged me to examine my words when interacting with children.  oh you know them.  you have seen them on tweets and facebook statuses for weeks.

“You is smart, You is kind.  You is important.”

the scenes where these lines were being delivered to a chubby, young face cupped in tired, loving hands brought tears to my eyes.  i know this was fiction, but i loved the intentionality of abilene to pause from the chaos to invest into a child’s heart and future.  (she was purposeful to bend down and get eye-to-eye as she gently delivered them.  i long to communicate like that.)  her intentions were great, but i still find myself asking what eternal weight do those words really carry?

again, i understand it was a movie.  i also admit that often times i would rather live in movies than in real life, but these lines provided a challenge and some examination into the words i impart to children.

these words were powerful and encouraging to a timid heart that was seeking affirmation and love.  these words filled a void that this child wasn’t receiving from her parents.  here’s the question i have asked myself – are these words really what this child needed to make it through life?  would these three lines deliver the true hope, strength, joy, and courage she would need as she faced life and all its unknowns?

these words were good, but in my opinion they weren’t great!  i am just not sure they were eternal words.  as i have replayed these words in my mind for a month now, i have to ask what would my three lines be?  my biggest conclusion is that they would be Christ-centered not child-centered.  i would take out the you’s and add God and try to convey life-changing truths that would not only point children to Jesus Christ and a relationship with Him, but would offer the real comfort they would need in the future.  He is all wisdom.  He is the author of kindness, and He is above all things.  that makes Him most important.

i encounter children daily and often times deliver words far less effective and profound as these movie lines.  i waste opportunities to plant eternal truths and replace them with casual, trite, fading, and empty words.  so even though i haven’t completely decided how it could best be said, here is my attempt at three lines.

“God created you and has a plan for you.  God loves you just like you are and gave you Jesus.  God will never leave you.”

i would love to hear your three lines!

in the last 15 years in ministry i have often felt like a square peg trying to cram into a round hole.  i just don’t fit.  in many situations i find myself being the object of the child’s song, “one of these things is not like the other.”  here are just a few:

– as someone that ministers to parents of children, i’m not a fit because i am not a parent.  i try my hardest and pray that God would grant me wisdom to think like a parent, but the fact
is i’m not.   so how can i really fit?
–  in my great, sweet circle of friends i stick out as the only unmarried one.  (always
completing the group as the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel.)
–  in the kidmin ministry world that is constantly changing, evolving, and providing much
conversation, i would rather discuss what God is doing personally in the lives of those involved and avoid “shop” talk.
–  the place i call home and lay my head just doesn’t fit as where my heart is.
–  on a staff and in a ministry world of the seminary trained, i’m uneducated and carry a degree in mass communications.  quite a far cry from theology.
– not to mention, i am surrounded by crimson wearing, tide cheering people, (oh and those orange fans of east tennessee) when my rally cry is “war eagle.” 🙂

today on a drive  home after a much needed roadtrip, i pondered the above list (not really the last point).  i even cried out to God for understanding and direction and He sweetly spoke to my heart.  while i often don’t “feel” like i fit in many groups or situations He places me in, He gently reminded me i fit perfectly in the palm of His hand.  that was enough for me.  that Truth doesn’t dismiss my feelings, but brings comfort that while i wait and press on He never lets go.

anyone else ever feel like they just don’t fit?

 

free dandibell email updates
get the latest content sent straight to your email.
we respect your privacy. thanks for taking time to subscribe.